You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
