I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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