go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it hurts more in the daytime
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize