her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
