well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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