So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She bit a glass in half.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
