Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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