the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
