no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
