So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
