I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
