I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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