think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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