At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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