Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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