I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
