he told me I talked like a deaf person
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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