at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
