i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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