I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
