Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
