so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
