There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am midnight drunk by noon
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
