We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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