Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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