either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
