I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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