STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize