I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
