Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
