I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
