that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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