I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize