I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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