What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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