Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
