Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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