you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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