apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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