____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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