Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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