"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
