i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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