I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
