In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
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