You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize