Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
