remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I'm really busy with my period
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