my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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