I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
