i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
accomplished twins. life is a go
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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