I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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