Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize