I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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