Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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