Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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