i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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