I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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