ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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