the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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