so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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