Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
