its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I lost the right to judge tonight
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
