the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
