I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
