Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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