Having a random hookup so left but love u
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
