I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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