We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize