Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
