you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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